Not an imposter

This is going to sound really weird but I am beginning to not feel like an imposter. When I first became a Guider many years ago and started going to District Meetings, I felt like an imposter, this feeling gradually diminished over time and now I am confident of my opinion and that I will be listened to. I have never had a problem being heard as many of you know in real life I am a little loud. Being loud does not always lead to being listened to though and a lot of the bravado and confidence I portray is a just a mask though and half the time I am quaking inside.

It was the same when I became Treasurer of the church, I was welcomed wholeheartedly onto the PCC and have always felt a part of my church family, but deep inside I have always felt that one day some one is going to open the door and say 'Come on Nicky, you know you are not really supposed to be here'.

In the last few months I have been involved in the appointment panel to find a new Vicar for our parish and our two neighbouring ones and again I kept waiting for the door to open. I am really happy though, as I have got more involved with the mechanics of how the church runs at different levels I have realised I am not an imposter, I truly am a part of these proceedings and my contribution is valued. Call it a calling, an obligation or just a need to be needed, the more I do it, the more I enjoy it and feel that perhaps my voice can make a difference.

My faith is something that is very important to me and underpins my life, I am so pleased that I can give back just a little of what my faith has given to me.